Divorce and Children

Divorce Rates & Collier County Parenting

Children are sponges for information, experience and knowledge. They soak it all up. We as humans remember everything that happens in our lives. Every single thing. It’s recall we have problems with, which is why hypnosis works. Everything is recorded and influences us, either consciously or otherwise.

There are many hardships that face a Naples family, events like divorce are one of them. This is one of the most traumatic times a parent can experience, let alone a child, and every effort must be taken to insulate them as much as possible from the problems it causes.

First and foremost, it’s important to include the child in the discussions if they are old enough to understand. They’ll find out anyway, so take the initiative and sit them down and talk to them, both of you. Explain what’s going on, what’s going to change, and what isn’t. Make great pains to tell them it isn’t anything to do with them, but you and your partner. Make sure the child knows they aren’t at fault, and that you love them and always will.

Divorce is messy and involves conflict, sometimes lots of it. Protect the child from as much as possible. Fight when they aren’t around. Do it while they are at school or at a friend’s. It isn’t possible to “schedule” an argument, but try to refrain from discussing emotive issues when the children are around. That’s when you’re more likely to fight, so avoid it if you can.

Also avoid putting your partner down in front of the child. Don’t forget, they are a product of both of you, so won’t take kindly to hearing bad things about them. It causes division within the family and within the child. A child feels they have to take sides, and will side with the parent they feel the closest and safest with. It also fuels dislike, which can turn into hate or anger. Avoid that at all costs, because it can lead to significant problems later.

When your child is around, talk about the situation as much as you, and they are comfortable with. Get them as familiar and as prepared for it as possible, while not making it all they hear. Don’t talk negatively about it at all, or about your partner. If you can’t be nice about them, don’t talk about them. Better to hear nothing, than hear bad things.

Lastly, and most importantly, don’t use the child as a pawn in the proceedings. Protect them, it’s your job. Think of it from their point of view. Everything they have ever known is changing, help them through it, don’t use their pain for your own gain.

Even in a place as idyllic as Naples, family events like divorce can turn a place, a house, town or city into a negative experience. Consider this when you’re dividing a household and make sure to minimize the effects as much as possible. Don’t use all your energy up on fighting your ex, save some to protect the children.